I love my mom, but does she fit in my life?

I love my mother very much. I want to have her in my life. But shes not someone i look up to or someone i want to be like at all. I feel like im not being real with her when im around her. And being mean her is not an option either. she's made many mistakes as a parent some very recent ones. But her reason(excuse) is that im the oldest and I will always automatically get the brunt of her mistakes. is that like ok? should i accept that as an answer. its really hard for me to act like im not really really pissed and disappointed in her as my mother, but i do love her very much. and i dont want to exclude her out of my life. I just don't know how to include her without causing stress for myself and for the person around me that i love.

When parents are introduced into parenthood they aren't fortunate enough to get a nifty book that explains everything there is to being a parent. (Maybe when the “ask Yooo Everett's Guide to Parenting “ comes out one day this will bring them up to speed a bit) It is a long process of trial and error and children are people and people are different so what they figure out that works with one child may change to the next. As a child you have to understand that and act accordingly. The root of most problems in any type of relationship is communication. So I have to push the communication option; the first step is to sit down and make a list of the problems that exist between you and your mother, this will help you sort out your ideas which will in turn help you to be able to think rationally and critically instead of emotionally. The next step is to have a sit down discussion with her. Present the ideas that you wrote down previously, be sure to be as respectful, open, and constructive as possible. To wrap up that conversation I would ask her to respond to each issue and have her explain to you her understanding of what you said. If after you have this open dialogue the problems still continue you may have to really think about how much of a presence she should have in your life, people can only treat you the way you allow them too.